Why I Took Medication (Medication)

I didn’t go on medication because someone forced me.

I agreed to them because I knew, honestly, that I was not stable without them — and the guilt of causing harm would have crushed me. I was already dealing with a lot of guilt and shame by the time I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 and started medications.

What made a huge difference was that my parents didn’t just hand me meds and say, “Take this”, even though I was 12 years old.

We talked about the different medications and researched them together. I researched things on my own too and then brought them up to my parents. They listened to my input and we made the decisions based on my input and their knowledge. It was mutual.

I truly understood why I was on this medication instead of something else. 

That made me feel like a valued part of the team, not a kid being told what to do, especially when these types of meds can come with unpleasant side effects. Feeling like I was included made it easier to follow through.

How medication affects me:

Medication takes a lot out of me.

Seroquel, for example, drains my energy more than anything.

Taking a shower feels exhausting, brushing my teeth is hard — everything is harder.

But when it comes down to it, what matters more?

Having endless energy and living life at a normal pace…

Or protecting the people I care about?

For me, the answer was clear.

My parents and I still talk about my meds and side effects even now that I am 23. I talk with them and I talk with my psychiatrist. I feel good advocating for myself and working with my psychiatrist to adjust my medications so I can function at my best and safest levels.