Homeless Woman on the Bus (Normalizing Talking about Mental Health)

My son Ismail (age 20) called. He and his fiancée, Nat were on the bus when a homeless woman sat next to them. She smelled strongly, so much so that even Ismail, who’s famously unfazed by hygiene issues, found it overwhelming.

Tempted to move, he texted Nat not to change seats, hoping not to add to the woman’s shame. I told him I was proud — he’d shown empathy, even in discomfort.

We talked about how humans have a natural reaction to pull away from people who look or smell “off,” often tied to survival instincts. But sometimes, people can’t help their condition — homelessness, trauma, mental illness. I used the moment to explain why I care so much about his hygiene — it’s not about vanity, but how others might treat him unfairly because of it.

He groaned in familiar son-fashion — “Yeah, yeah, I get it”.

At first, we had no idea how much talking about mental health would impact us, our son, and others.

These conversations helped us see the person, not the diagnosis, and allowed empathy to grow.