How Not to Get Stabbed With a Sword (Follow the Safety Plan)

One day, Iz (age 18) became manic and a confrontation started. We had a safety plan for situations like this, but I didn’t follow it. Instead of de-escalating — as I’d been trained to do as a psych nurse — I tried to assert parental authority.

Iz had already followed the plan by going to his room, but I made things worse by following him, knocking, and entering despite him telling me not to. He kept asking for the boundaries laid out in the plan, and I kept pushing past them.

When I finally walked in, he was in a fighting stance, holding a real sword pointed at me. For a moment, I saw clearly: I wasn’t “parenting.” I was confronting someone in an unstable state, and I had escalated everything.

I closed the door quickly. I cried quietly in shock — he had started to lunge before I got the door shut. I felt scared, ashamed, and deeply worried for him.

Downstairs, my husband reminded me calmly that I hadn’t followed the plan. After comforting me, he went to Iz’s door and, without entering, asked if Iz was safe. Iz said yes. My husband told him that once he left the hallway, Iz needed to place all swords or dangerous items outside his door, as the plan required. Iz agreed.

A moment later, we heard the door open and close. My husband collected the items and secured them.